Introduction to an Almost Graduate
Hello! My name is Kennedie Milligan and I am a (super)senior at the University of Oklahoma. I am a Communication major, a Women and Gender Studies minor, and am also pre-nursing. These three things may seem like a random grouping, but I have a lot of interests and am slightly indecisive, so this is what I have come up with. I went to high school in Broken Arrow and that is where my parents still live today. I have 3 brothers, and from my older brother I have 3 nieces. My entire family is pretty much in Oklahoma and has been my entire life. There is not a lot I am sure of in life, but I am sure that I need out of this state. I am graduating in December and then I am going to nursing school. I want to go to a accelerated program for my BSN out of state, because I am afraid if I don’t leave now then I will never get out. I just decided to do nursing last August (hence the extra semester of undergrad to get my prereqs in) and so I am a little late to that game. I have always k
Hi Kennedie,
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your story and i was very impressed by it. I love the fact that the character was getting ready to get married one minute and then kidnapped and held captive in a camp the next. What i really liked was the fact that instead of getting tortured or assaulted, she is forced to listen to a woman's story for hours on end. I also liked how you described the men who kidnapped her and their appearance to add extra emphasis on how dire the matter is. I wonder if her soon to be husband and their families realized that she was missing since the incident occurred right before their wedding. I also wondered if the people who kidnapped her would eventually track her down and find her since the goat was a tad slow. You might see what happens if you try to add a part where the families find out the character was knowing that the bride has been kidnapped and tried to go save her i think that would also make the story even better but I like how you told the story and the length of it was perfect. I also love the cliffhanger at the end (If it is supposed to be a cliffhanger).
Hey Kennedie, I like the concept that you have here. Inventing the story for a background character that did not get much attention is an excellent idea with a ton of possibilities. I like how you jump right into the action, omitting traditional background exposition. This helps the reader feel the same sense of confusion and urgency that the character likely felt. At the same time, I wonder if the story could benefit from some more detailed explanation later in the story. It might be interesting to re-write the beginning in a first person, present tense form, and have the narrator explain her situation to the old woman (and thus the reader) later on. This might also help give the story a more complete feel with distinct beginning middle and end, marked by transitions from first person action, to exposition, and then back to action again. Overall, well done, but there is always room for growth!
ReplyDeleteHello Kennedie!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the direction that you took for this story. I read the original during that section of reading this semester and I always wanted to get to know more about the young girl in the beginning. The original opens with such a vague story about how she got kidnapped and then the very last story is a bit more on how she made it out of there but I always wanted to read more so I am glad that you decided to write your own story about it. I would have liked to see a little more interaction between the young girl and the old woman who is telling the story to her. I think that you have a great amount of space to really work this story and make it your own while still fitting into the original. Overall, I really enjoyed this story and I can't wait to see what you add to your site next!
Hey Kennedie!
ReplyDeleteI just read your story “The Night Before” and swung over here to leave you a comment. Overall I really enjoyed the story especially since I also read Cupid and Psyche. For me the wow moment in your story was definitely the opening scene as the girl is pulled from her mother’s arms.
Specifically, I liked how your description of the girl fighting back. That really makes it easy to visualize the scene. I wonder if she managed to wound any of them or if she was easily carried off. From your author’s note I would suspect she got in at least a few good blows. What if you took that kind of intense descriptive writing in your first paragraph and applied it to the ending of your story when she is escaping on the donkey. What if she “dashed” and “wrestled the reins from the woman” and “leapt upon the donkey, spurring him and ridding hard. Head down looking back to make sure she wasn’t followed.” I think that scene could be a great chance to show how fierce your female character is.
Also, if you take a look at your website in the preview mode, I think you might see that the photo of the donkey (very cute by the way) looks a little odd where it is. What if you centered it on the page or moved it into the body of the text somewhere?
Again, this was a great read, and I can’t wait to read more as you work on your portfolio.
-Cat
Hey Kennedie! I read Cupid and Psyche and I think it’s really unique that you chose to tell the story from the girl’s perspective! I wonder if you could have gone into detail about the story the old woman told. I thought it was really interesting, and maybe you could show the reactions of the girl as she is being told about Psyche’s crazy life. She might like the story a lot or maybe hate it. I thought the ending was cool and how she can still make her wedding, that’s a really cute touch! What if you included more dialogue in the story between the kidnappers, the girl, and the old woman? Including a few quotes would really help it seem real and show the tension in the air. The picture of the donkey is super cute, and I really think you could do a fun banner image too! Great job.
ReplyDeleteHello kennedie, I really enjoy reading your version of “Cupid and Psyche.” I think that your explanation of what was going through Charites’s mind when she was kidnapped was a great idea. You always wonder what character are really thinking when stuff is happening in the story and your story does a great job to help close that gap. I thought that you wrote the story out really well. If I were to suggest one thing it would be maybe to add some details to Charites journey back to her wedding. I feel like the story kind of skipped over that part really fast and went from kidnapped to wedding instantly. For your portfolio, I thought it was laid our really well. It is very easy to navigate and it had great use of pictures. Overall I thought you had a great story and your portfolio is great also, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Kennedie,
ReplyDeleteThis is my second time coming back to your profile to read a story you created because once I saw your name pop up on the random selection option, I knew you more than likely published another great story. I read your second story, The Boy In The Moon, and was impressed and engaged with the story throughout. My favorite part of the story is how Timmy keeps changing his mind about what he would like to be for Halloween even when his mom has made the costume. I like how you made his character sort of bratty and spoiled but not to spoiled to the point where he can overpower his mother. The story also reminds me of being a kid and having friends who would try to out do each other on Halloween costumes so it was refreshing how you were able to make me reflect on a certain time of my life. I wonder what the boy in the moon is supposed to represent because in your story, the boy in the moon is mentioned at the end. Is he supposed to serve a significant purpose to Timmy? or Is he gonna be used as some sort of inspiration for Timmy's next costume? That could be something to work on if you were to continue editing this story because I am not quite sure what the point of the boy in the moon is and how he affects the story dynamic. Overall, I liked reading your story and think you should continue to write more stories of this caliber.
Hi Kennedie,
ReplyDeleteThis is the second time I have read your storybook, and I think it is coming along great! I have read the original version of both stories your stories are based on and I have really enjoyed the changes you have made. Previously I commented on your first story so today I thought I would give feedback on the new story. For me the wow moment was the second time the boy decided to change his costume. You did such a great job showing how much work it was for his mom to make these costumes so when he asked for the moon costume after she had already made two, I felt sad for her. I wonder if she felt overwhelmed and exhausted, maybe her feelings were hurt. What if you used the third person perspective that you are telling this story from to let the reader know how the mom is feeling through all of this and then at the end. I think it would add depth to her character and help the reader connect with the characters.
-Cat
Hi Kennedie! I read The Boy in the Moon story from your portfolio and absolutely loved it! While you kept to the plot of the original story, you added a whole new depth by changing it and recreating the main character to be a child. Perfect role change, especially when it comes to the Halloween holiday. Children can be so indecisive and you really emphasized that with this story. I really do not have any corrections for this story…maybe add a few more sentences at the end describing the lesson that the boy should learn, maybe from the perspective of the mom. I want it to be longer because I enjoyed reading it so much, but that would kind of ruin the point of the story, so do what you want with it because I really liked this story! Great job and I will definitely be reading more! Now that I think about it, in the future if you have another story like this one, maybe change the perspective of the dialogue, for example, change the story to be from the perspective of the mother and not just from the narrator. Great job!
ReplyDeleteBoth your stories were solid! However, I think it'd make it easier to go deeper into the story if you added some more back-and-forth dialogue between your characters. Like for example, you quoted some of what Timmy was saying in the second story, but I think it'd be better to hear the mom exclaim more about what she feels. I know she did answer him back a couple times but every other time she kind of just stayed silent. So if you make the characters assert their feelings and personalities a little more, I think it could be a richer story. Nice job overall though!
ReplyDeleteHi Kennedie! I just finished reading the first story from your portfolio, The Night Before. I found this story to be quite interesting. At first, I felt very much like the confused bridesmaids in the story until the main character began explaining what had happened to her. I enjoyed this feeling, since I think it made the start of your story very engaging and somewhat suspenseful while I waited to find out what happened. I had not read the story yours is based off, so I did not know what to expect in how the main character was treated by her kidnappers. I was glad to see that she was able to escape and nothing too horrible happened to her. It seems the lame donkey is the one who made it possible for the girl to escape, which I thought was cool since that is not what I normally expect in these situations. Overall, I enjoyed this story very much and think you did a great job writing it. I hope to read more from you in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey there Kennedie! I read through all of your stories from your portfolio and they're all so cute. They make me think of nice little short stories to read to a child to bed or something. They aren't incredibly long or drawn out, but also give enough detail and development that it feels like a full-circle work despite the length. I do think you could be a bit more creative with the layout to help bring visual aid to your project! It would breathe life into your cute little stories! My favorite one was obviously the Best of Friends because of the animal friendship. I'm a sucker for things that involve animals, cooperation, and equality for share the wealth. It's also a great lesson to teach someone about overcoming your differences with others to accomplish greater, more meaningful things. The costume story threw me for a loop because I felt so bad for the hardworking mom! I think your adaptation of the tale definitely helped put that plot concept into perspective with a modern twist to it. Overall I think these are great and well-done on your storytelling methods!
ReplyDeleteHi there Kennedy! I loved the stories on your portfolio. I especially liked that your link to the comment wall was front and center on your homepage. Your banner image, design, and layout super simple, but look really good. The page setup for your first story doesn't match with the rest of the website though. I do like the clean, all white look, but the it should probably be the same for at least the rest of the stories. I love the changes you made when writing The Best of Friends! The picture you chose to go with it was SO adorable too! There was a typo that I noticed in the author's note for The Night Before: "In the original story, the Charite is just background for the telling of Cupid and Psyche's love story." There's an extra 'the' in this sentence. These are all minor changes, so keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteHello Kennedie!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your first story, The Night Before. I thought you did a wonderful job starting your story. It immediately grabs the reader's attention. It is filled with suspense, which I really love. I like how you modernized the original story and gave it a twist where you took a background character and turned it into your main character.
I thought it was really funny how you had the older woman who wouldn't stop speaking, which caused your main character to doze off. I can relate to that because of where I work (at a law office), sometimes we get calls from clients who just do not know when to stop telling their stories. I do not really mind though because I feel they just need someone to listen. Anyways, it sounds like the old woman in your story was even boring herself, lol.
I think you also did a great job transitioning throughout your story. I was never confused about where the main character was, even though she was recanting the events that took place elsewhere. I look forward to reading your next story soon!
Hey Kennedie! I really liked the first story as I had no idea what direction it was heading at first. It kept me on my toes trying to decipher what exactly were the bridesmaids trying to hard to discover. What happened that caused the men to leave by the time she woke up, and why did they kidnap her in the first place? I loved your second story as well, especially knowing how younger kids can change their minds so quickly and so often. I can only imagine the frustration his mother must've had when she kept having to start over on a new costume because he kept deciding to change what he wanted to be for Halloween. The last story about all of the pets was such a sweet one to read. Even though stereotypes say different animals don't like each other, they all seem to interact well with them, even dogs and cats. I also enjoyed how they loved their owners enough to join together to help them.
ReplyDeleteHi Kennedie! First of all, that picture at the top of the comment wall!!! Just so adorable. I love how you also chose nice pictures for all of your stories. It seems that we read many of the same tales for I rewrote two of these too! One note is that, if you can, make the paragraphs shorter on "the Night Before". Break them up so that they do not fill up the page so much and so the reading is more fluid, like "Lucky Jack"! The second story was the perfectly light hearted and I enjoyed the tone in which you wrote the story. Overall I think you're doing a great job, I would just check on spacing and some spelling! Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHey Kennedie. I just finished reading your story Avengers or the Moon. The title immediately caught my attention because I wanted to know if you actually have the Avengers in your story. I read the original story and even based on of my stories off of it as well. It is an easy story to adapt into your own version which makes me feel like that's why a lot of people chose it. Most of the stories I read and including the own I created myself still had wishes from a magical being but in your story you made it the mother. I didn't catch on until the very end which story you were basing it off of which I think is a good thing since it shows how original it is. In your story the kid really seemed like a brat because he made his mother work so hard and kept on changing his choices for his costume.
ReplyDelete